Only two months left of my current course so i’ve started filling in an application to do Bachelor of Social Work at a different University come July/August which is exciting, fingers crossed that I get in.
Off to visit my grandparents next week, apparently they aren’t doing too well at the moment so figure it’s probably a good time to go say hello.
I’ve decided to put off the youth mentor thing until a bit later in the year, once i’ve settled in a bit more and got more of a routine going.
Things are going good with the new guy, although he owes me after this weekend. He is involved as a volunteer in his local CFA (country fire brigade) which he absolutely loves, but unfortunately, as with all these sorts of organisations, there are politics involved and if you want to do well you need to play the games (I get this and i’m willing to do what I can to help him do well in the games). In his case this meant that he gave in to peer pressure a while ago and dated a fellow volunteer, they broke up, but because of the politics that come from them both being involved in the CFA things aren’t working the way they usually do after a break up. So this weekend I went to stay at his place to go along to a friend’s engagement with him, which was great fun, but the same night was the ex’s 21st birthday which he was obliged to go to because of the CFA thing, and I couldn’t go to because of the ex thing, so I had to hang out at his place alone while he and his friends went to this party. I know he felt really bad about it, and I know he had no choice, but it turns out i’m I’m a bit more vulnerable than I thought I was on this occasion and it left me feeling pretty crappy. I kinda feel as though I shouldn’t feel this way because my rational brain knows there’s no real reason for it, but my irrational heart doesn’t work like that, but given my decision to be more vulnerable this year i’m just going to allow myself to feel crappy for a bit. Sigh…the things we do…and won’t be doing again in any hurry lol.
The look on his face when he saw me dressed up for the engagement party also kinda helps make up for the crappiness hehe.
*Updated to add- he has also bought me a bunch of tulips and a block of my favourite chocolate.
Easter weekend this year was wonderful, I worked some overtime in the lead up to it, which means extra money, and then the new man invited me to spend the weekend in Warrnambool with him and some friends. I got to see some of the Great Ocean Road, met some awesome people and enjoyed some delicious food. We also managed to stumble upon a place called ‘Martians Cafe’ which was bizarre but great…
…and I discovered a tumblr post the new man has written about me that is absolutely swoon-worthy *sigh*. All in all a great weekend 
In other news I have a 15 min oral presentation coming up for school on inequality and whether the government should be doing more to reduce it, and today I am getting busy whipping up a couple of batches of banana bread, the thing I love about banana bread is that it is just SO simple…here’s the recipe:
Banana Bread
Ingredients
- 3 mashed bananas
- 2 eggs
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup yoghurt
- 1 cup plain flour
- 1/2 cup self raising flour
Method
Preheat oven to 180 C
Grease a loaf pan.
Combine banana, eggs, sugar, vanilla and yoghurt in a large bowl. Add flour and mix till combined.
Pour mixture into loaf pan and bake for 45-50 mins, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.
Lastly, a little late…my photo with Keith Urban (notice his hand on my shoulder)
I am finally starting to settle into the routine of my new life. Living back home with mum is taking some serious adjustment on both our parts, but I think we are doing ok. I am working three days a week at a boarding kennel which I am really enjoying although it barely pays enough for me to survive, and school is an absolute nightmare at the moment due to budget cuts (confirmed by all teachers and staff), but I am also adjusting to that as well.
I’ve got a nice even surface for my new tower and the foundation is starting to go down.
It was suggested by my boss when I left my old job that with my skills, likes and reasons for looking at Librarianship, that counselling would actually be a perfect career fit for me (something that has actually been suggested before but I ignored because how the hell could I be a counsellor) so I am looking into that…I seem to change my mind A LOT!, and in the same vein I have a meeting tomorrow to start the ball rolling on something i’ve been wanting to do for a few years now…becoming a volunteer youth mentor!
In other exciting news I have met a new man. Something I had totally not planned, in fact had decided to avoid for a period of time, and yet so unbelievably perfect that I spend most of the time feeling like a massive cliche.
So, all in all everything is going pretty well, I’ve survived the storm and come out the other side
So, just in case I didn’t have enough to deal with already, the Universe decided to add a broken car into the mix. On Saturday I stopped at a pedestrian crossing to let a kid on a bike cross and a 4WD promptly ran into the back of my car. Thankfully it was his fault so his insurance will pay for all the repairs, and the damage wasn’t too bad.
My friend decided that this was a sign to not get caught up in the problems and just keep moving forward…she sent me this:
Seems appropriate, no?
Going with the theme of looking forward to new beginnings and fresh starts I’m trying to think of what I want to do with this opportunity, what changes do I want to make?
I think the big thing will be taking more risks. It seems to me that to have great things in your life you need to take risks, you need to be vulnerable, and that’s something I need to work on…speaking of vulnerability, I saw this TED talk on the subject a few weeks ago, it’s an interesting watch. I definitely relate to the ‘perfect’ thing and I think too that I’ve learned that it’s not ok for me to be vulnerable. I had to get strong as a kid and since then any time I’ve had a vulnerable moment I’ve been reminded that I’m ‘the strong one’ and to ‘stay strong’ which I think has translated to ‘you’re not allowed to be vulnerable’. I probably need to work on unlearning this and realising that it’s ok to be vulnerable. I think blogging, and the Betties, is already helping with this because it provides an environment in which we can be vulnerable, air our greatest hopes and fears, at first with enough distance that any rejection doesn’t sting too much, and now knowing that we will be supported and encouraged.
Another thing that I will use this opportunity for is to reasses the things that make ME happy without any outside influences.
If you had a fresh start what changes would you make?
Firstly, Keith Urban was amazing! I didn’t get to spend much time with him but I did get a hug and he is as gorgeous in real life as he seems…also the perfect combination of hard and soft 
In other news, I think we can officially call this phase of my life ‘The Tower’. Yep, I do believe I am currently being towered…ending of long-term relationship (check), change of home (check), and now instead of leaving my job i’ve been retrenched and a guy i’ve been seeing who I really like has told me that given my current circumstances (moving) he doesn’t think we should continue seeing each other…think that covers all the bases of a good towering. While at first it just felt like the tower was wobbling a bit, in the last few days I have felt it come crashing to the ground.
Suffice to say i’m feeling pretty vulnerable at the moment. Luckily I go back to school soon because having that spare time with nothing to keep me out of my head has not been good for me and i’ve been starting to feel a bit depressed over it all.
Don’t you just love a cheery post? lol
But it’s not all doom and gloom, as much as I am feeling pretty miserable at the moment there is still the glimmer of hope there. The knowledge that this is actually an amazing opportunity…the chance to build a new tower that is more suited to the person I have become over the last few years, so i’m just going to try and concentrate on that as much as possible.
And to make sure we end on a happy note, here’s a pic of Keith…man I love that smile.
I’m a bit late off the mark with my New Year post since we are now almost a whole month into the year! But I always am a little slow to get going 
I was very much absent from the blogging world in 2012, but hopefully that will change in 2013…so much else is. Firstly, after more than two years of being unhappy in my relationship, I have finally ended things. In two weeks time I will be moving back home with my mum, and while it is hard, and sad, I am hugely relieved. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted and I know i’ve made the right decision.
This move will also mean the search for a new job which is exciting, and since I will be saving some money by living at home (still a poor student though) I figured out that if i’m strict with my money I can have my car paid off in 3 years (that’s half the time it should take) and also have saved some money to be able to go overseas once I finish Uni! Then I can come back and get a kick-ass job in a library.
In other news, this Saturday I am going to see Keith Urban in concert (I cannot even begin to explain my love for this man) and…I get to meet him!
This week I will be playing the voice for my fellow classmates. We have one teacher for three of our subjects who is honestly completely useless. She’s always seriously un-organised, turns up 30mins late to classes and is completely unable to give clear direction. This is creating a lot of stress and confusion for me, and also everyone else in the class, though they seem to be willing to just work around it. I think this is where my having a few years in a work environment is coming in handy because, while everyone else views her as a teacher and so feel that they can’t do anything, I see her as someone who is there to do a job and at the moment she isn’t doing that to a satisfactory level. We are paying her to teach us but she doesn’t seem to be able to do that. If it was any other job she wouldn’t even be there any more. So, I am taking matters to hand and will be speaking to the head of department this week.
Now, on to happier things. It’s only two more sleeps till my birthday!! I have decided that I am going to get some yummy chinese takeaway, my favourite lemon tarts from the bakery, a good DVD and an alcoholic beverage and then go home and enjoy turning 25.
Also, exactly 7 years after getting my first tattoo I have finally decided what my second will be. It’s going to be on my ribs, just below where my bra sits and it will say:
Braver. Stronger. Smarter.
Which is a shortened of the Winnie the Pooh quote:
Always remember, you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.
I absolutely love this line. It’s something I always remind myself of when I feel like I am not up to a task, so I think having it inked into my skin is the perfect way to keep that reminder. And I think this is what tattoos are really supposed to be about, it has taken me 7 years to figure out what I wanted but I know that this is absolutely perfect and, like my existing tattoo, I won’t be regretting it in another 7 years.
If you had to choose a quote or saying to have tattooed on you, what would it be?
